RAT RACE

I would try to make this piece as brief and concise as possible.

Section 131 of the Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria (the constitution) provides;

“A person shall be qualified for election to the office of President if…

a. He is a citizen of Nigeria by birth

b. He has attained the age of fourty years

c. He is a member of a political party and is sponsored by that political party; and

d. He has been educated up to at least School Certificate level or its equivalent.”

Section 318 provides;

“School Certificate or its equivalent means;

a. A secondary school certificate or its equivalent, or Grade II Teacher’s Certificate, the City and Guilds Certificate; or

b. Education up to secondary school certificate level; or

c. Primary Six School Leaving Certificate or its equivalent and-

I. Service in the public or private sector in the Federation in any capacity acceptable to the INEC for a minimum of ten years; and

ii. Attendance at courses and training in such institutions as may be acceptable to the INEC for periods totalling up to a minimum of one year; and

iii. The ability to read, write, understand and communicate in the English language to the satisfaction of INEC; and

d. Any other qualification acceptable by INEC.

Section 2 of the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) Act provides;

A person shall be qualified for election to the office of the President or the National Assembly if-

a. He is a citizen of Nigeria;

b. In the case of the President, he has attained the age of 40 years

c. In the case of a senator, he has attained the age of 35 years;

d. In the case of a member of the house of representatives, he has attained the age of 30 years;

e. He has been educated up to at least school certificate level or its equivalent; and

f. He is a member of a political party and is being sponsored by that party.

Section 3 states 11 reasons for disqualification from contesting for office of the President or the National Assembly, none of which Gen Buhari has been accused of except perhaps paragraph (h) which is on the basis that;

He has presented forged certificates to the Commission.

Having cited these provisions, I do not see the cause for the uproar regarding General Buhari’s Certificate (or for some, the lack thereof). The Act establishing, enabling and empowering INEC is clear, as are the relevant provisions of the Constitution.

The Constitution is the grundnorm and every law takes its legality from the Constitution and where any law contains any provisions that are inconsistent with the constitution, such a law or provision in such a law is null and void to the extent of that inconsistency.

I am of the view that the various qualifications that cover the term “school certificate or its equivalent” is well covered. General Buhari had indeed produced his certificate and unless anyone can invoke the provisions of Section 3 (h) of the INEC Act on the basis of it (the certificate produced) being a forgery, then the matter is sufficiently rested. No proof of the said certificate being a forgery has so far been produced. Also, the man in question is a General in the Nigerian army. The various trainings received in the military (I believe) must include the provisions or qualifications provided for in Sec 318 (b). 

Some have also argued the fact that the certificate is not in question but rather the fact that it was not attached to the INEC Form submitted by Gen Buhari to signify his candidacy for the office of President on the platform of the APC. They argue that the fact that Gen Buhari failed to attach his certificates to the INEC Form invalidates the Form itself and must therefore be disregarded.

I beg to differ.

The Constitution again clearly states in the aforementioned Section 131 that “a person shall be qualified for election to the office of President if…” There is no ambiguity whatsoever in this provision. The Constitution is based on the premise that upon satisfaction of the requirements of Paragraphs (a) to (d) of Section 131, such a person SHALL be qualified for election. It is simple.

On this basis therefore, I do not see why time is being wasted on attacking the man (who by the way has run for the office of the president at least three times before) and/or his certificate(s) rather than focusing on issues currently affecting the polity. I believe that priorities are misplaced.

What this unwarranted attack and distraction only goes to show is the fact that the ruling party (the PDP) at this time admits the strength and the possibility of the opposition winning the presidential elections and merely seek to oust him on a purely technical ground. This is not serving the PDP well.

EQUALS 'SIR'

 

I was this morning on my way to the Federal High Court on Oyinkan Abayomi at about 8.30am with my colleague and we came across three (white) women jogging.

“Wives and girlfriends of expatriates” he said.

I was not completely surprised or disappointed. I had become somewhat used to hearing such chauvinist statements from him and some other people I had cause to encounter in my daily life. However, as usual, I did not let it just slide.

“How do you know these women are not the expatriates themselves and not wives of expats”? I asked.

He responded, “At this time?”

I pointed to him the fact that he did not know their resumption time or work schedules; the fact that these women live in Ikoyi and their places of work could very well be very close to home and hence there wouldn’t have been a need for them to hurry to work (unlike some of us who have to face every day transit from Okokomaiko to Victoria Island); I also mentioned the fact that they could very well have been on their annual leave and not have had to go into work at all.

“Lai Lai, how can all three of them be on leave at the same time?!” He exclaimed.

I must state I realized then that the argument was not going anywhere.

It was utterly disappointing. This was not the first of such arguments we had had in my office (we had in the past argued about, among sooooo many other things, why it is considered proper for women to be chaste and faithful to their partners while the same requirement wasn’t as rigid or as strict for men; why women were expected to cook and clean when they were going to work just as much as and bringing in just as much as men, or even in some cases, more than the men; why women were expected to look after children as if women had by themselves just gone to the market and come home with the babies) and it was very disappointing that despite these arguments we had every so often and despite pointing out the distasteful views had of the place of women in the world, my colleagues’ views of the world and the women in it had not changed.

When we got back to the office, we had to again discuss a brief we had received. Our client (the only son of his father) had been given the bulk of the properties left by his father (about 4 or 5 properties) while the girls had been given one each. As everyone is free to do, the deceased had made these gifts to his son in his Will. I however thought to make my reservations about the deceased’s actions known. The same colleague I had been arguing with earlier in the day then explained that the deceased was probably very traditional in his ways and his custom and traditions were just being manifested in his Will (the client comes from a part of Nigeria where male children are considered somewhat superior to female children). He went on to state that not every Nigerian man would do same to his female children and then he (ironically) cited himself as an example.

This led me to point out the earlier occurrence of the day to him and his earlier statement which had shown just how myopic his view of women was. He tried to clarify by stating that his views are a function of the ‘society’ as the ‘society’ moulds all individuals within that ‘society’ and he is a product of ‘society’. I deemed it proper to then ask him who made up this seemingly abstract “society” which he refused to answer. I also asked that whenever a person commits any wrongdoing premised on prejudice, it’s not the society but rather the individual who is held accountable. I cited the happenings in the USA regarding race and explained the fact that despite the existence of racism, anyone found culpable was held individually accountable. This was to simply point out the fact that despite the existence of a societal wrong, it is the responsibility of any progressive individuals (at least those who consider the necessity for righting such wrong) therein to remedy such a wrong.

I believe that the fact that many Nigerian men and sadly some women (I restrict my opinion to them as they are the men I know) do not see themselves in this retrogressive/ backward-thinking light is the reason many women are still not being accorded their due respect. The fact that many men consider themselves educated, enlightened and progressive when they are in actual fact the opposite is why we still have women being ‘gifted’ 2nd place where they are in fact equal to anyone else-man or woman.

It is rather sad that in the day and time we now live in, these prejudices still exist. It is even more saddening that this undesirable ‘torch’ is being passed on to and by the new generation of ‘men’ who are supposedly progressive.

That said, I believe that the time for complaints is past. It is rather the time to take action and speak up. It must be that wherever and whenever such prejudices are manifested, anyone who is forward thinking (you do not have to wait to be the victim) and witnesses such wrong-doing and would like that all people be treated as equal, speak up against such wrong- this even more so, where it happens in the midst of children (as I have come to see that these crucial years are the periods when such misconceptions are allowed to fester and grow). Every person is created equal. Even though the Nigerian Constitution guarantees this, I do not see it in operation. In any event, I would prefer that it be ingrained in every individual and not have to be pronounced by law or directed by the courts to see it in operation.

Balloons or Condoms?

I thought about various titles to give this blog before settling on this one...the Dictionary or its first Syllable; the Pen or the Penis, The abacus or the Phallus...but that is besides the point.

Very recently, the Senate of the Federal Republic of Nigeria sought to amend Section 29 (4) of the Constitution which provides in part that “For the purposes of subsection (1) of this section… any woman who is married shall be deemed to be of full age”. This certainly has grave consequences especially given the fact that it bestows on the Nigerian child burdens they are too young to carry. This law especially proscribes the 18 year-old rule for any Nigerian child to qualify to engage into a conscious agreement of marriage. This law also specifically runs contrary to the provisions of the Childs Rights Act which stipulates that “a child is anyone below the age of 18″.

Senator Sani Ahmed Yerima (who married a 13 year old non-Nigerian girl not too long ago) championed the vote against this amendment basing his argument on the fact that stipulating an age restriction is contrary to Islamic law. There is hardly anything Islamic about child marriage. One may argue that the practice is even un-Islamic as it runs counter to the true spirit of Islam. Marriage is a contract and the Koran, in Surah al-Nisa', 4:21 prescribes the institution as a "strong solemn covenant". Underage girls, say at the age of nine, cannot enter into such a covenant, as it is too strong a contract. A minor has neither the ability nor capacity to understand what a covenant means and implies. In addition, in any given family, both husband and wife may and can stipulate conditions. If either party fails to keep their agreements, the marriage may collapse. In this sense, a child cannot stipulate conditions. Marriage is a partnership for life. We cannot expect a child to have the necessary experience or intellectual acumen to rightly choose her breadwinner. Thus, from this perspective, child marriages can neither be considered koranic nor Islamic.

Section 17 (2) (a) provides that every citizen of Nigeria shall have equality of rights, obligations and opportunities before the law. Therefore, marrying off such children would certainly alter the course of their lives and is certainly not in accordance with the provisions of the Constitution. Section 42 (1) further provides that a citizen of Nigeria of a community, ethnic group, place of origin, sex, religion or political opinion shall not by reason only of that he/ she is such a person be subjected by application of the law to disabilities or restrictions to which citizens of Nigeria of other community, ethnic group, place of origin, sex, religion or political opinion are not subject to. Section 42 (2) further provides that no citizen of Nigeria shall be subject to any disability or deprivation merely because of the circumstances of his birth.

In the same vein, since any woman who is married is considered to be of full age, one may therefore conclude that the Senate is also advocating that;

- criminal liability can be placed on under age married girl child

- An underage married woman can vote and be voted for

- She can also obtain a driver's license

We are certain that this cannot be the intention of any right thinking legislature!

Having said that, such children are bound to suffer health-wise, economically and psychologically.According to the International Health Women’s Coalition;

- Because their bodies (bone structure, pelvis and reproductive organs) are not yet fully developed, girls ages 14 and younger run a very high risk of complications in pregnancy and childbirth compared with older adolescents.
- Prolonged and obstructed labour, which is common among pregnant young adolescents, can lead to haemorrhage, severe infection, and maternal death. This is especially true for girls who experience additional pregnancy-related complications such as eclampsia. Those who survive may suffer from obstetric fistula, a debilitating condition that causes chronic incontinence and results in shame and social isolation.
- Girls who are married young are also more vulnerable to sexually transmitted infections (STIs), including HIV/AIDS. For example, in Kisumu, Kenya, HIV infection rates are nearly 33 percent among married girls ages 15 - 19, compared with 22 percent among unmarried, sexually-active girls of the same age.
- Girls' physiological vulnerability due to the small size, inelasticity, and lack of lubrication of the vagina and cervix is compounded by their exposure to frequent, unprotected, and sometimes forced sexual intercourse within marriage; lack of information about STIs, including HIV; and inability to negotiate their own protection.
- The average age gap between young brides and the men they marry reaches eight to ten years or more in some countries. The older the husband the more likely it is that he has had multiple sexual partners and may be HIV-positive.

We must therefore rise and speak up for the Nigerian child particularly the Nigerian girl-child. By Section 14 (2) (a) of the Constitution, sovereignty belongs to the people and the government only derives its powers and authority through the people. It further provides that participation of the people in their government shall be ensured. We therefore implore all well-meaning Nigerians to endorse this petition and guarantee a safer and more secure Nigeria for the girl child.

Welcome Aboard

Na wa o! See how jets have become pure water sha! In fact, pure water is almost becoming more of the rarity compared to private jets! Yes…yes… I exaggerate but I’m sure you get my drift. I read recently how the congregation of Bishop (or is it Reverend, Pastor, Deacon? Not sure) Oritsejafor bought him a jet to celebrate his birthday which according to the church coincided with his some plenty years at the bar…er, sorry, pulpit. I apologize, force of habit.

What people want to buy as gifts for anybody is, in truth, not any business of mine. This however does not mean I am not entitled to have an opinion on it not does it preclude me from sharing that opinion. I must state that this piece is in no way restrictive and extends to all the private jet globe trotting pastors. Now to the issues/ questions I have about this.

First, was it raised in Church at ‘offering time’ or at some covert service held at some secret location-Since, the pastor wasn’t supposed to find out about it? Was the congregation asked to donate or pledge certain sums for ‘Daddy” or “Papa” (as they are fondly referred to now) private Jet? Or was it the handiwork of a few haves who believed it an insult for their Daddy to keep riding commercial planes and so decided to get him this token to show their love and appreciation?

Also, am I to believe that there is not one among the members of these churches who lacks or is in need? Don’t get me wrong- I am not insinuating that the pastor is to be the messiah and solve the problems of every single member of his congregation (but then again, he IS their ‘Daddy” right?) but seriously…a jet??? Couldn’t this money be put to other purposes? Purchasing a jet is no small feat- neither is maintaining it!

Furthermore, he says it was a gift he received. With due respect (realize that I said ‘due’ respect), I refuse to believe a plan like this was cooking and he was unaware of it. After all, it was said to be paid for or bought by the congregation. Some might even argue that perhaps it was bought by a few rich members of the church but was only given to him in the name of the entire congregation…and I quite agree. In that case therefore, it may have come as a surprise (which I doubt); he would therefore do well to (as the others should too) sell it off and put the money towards “spreading” the gospel. By spreading the gospel, I am not asking that some people be gathered in an arena and the word of God be brandished or spat at them nor am I proposing that bible verses be quoted to the needy, sick, hungry, jobless etc asking and urging them to believe and be strong and have faith and believe…most certainly not! I am certain they have recited these biblical passages to their various situations over and over again! I am asking that amenities, training, welfare, and in necessary cases, cash be given and made available to these lacking individuals and communities. Even more especially in the wake of the flood that has ravaged certain parts of this country and has rendered thousands homeless- I hardly feel it’s the right and “brotherly” thing at this time to be living so lavishly. Whatever happened to looking out for your neighbour?

Truth is, I see many pastors stand at their pulpits and preaching to people how to be patient and wait upon the Lord; however, they who do the preaching have decided not to wait that wait but rather live extravagantly off the tithes and offerings and sacrifices given by these same congregations who have to strive extra hard to give in the hope that their blessings would be multiplied.

The irony for me is that we find people who do not claim to be nor pretend to be Christians or belong to any organized religion giving their time, services and money to help others while most of our church leaders are too busy preaching prosperity (which, going by their messages would only come when you give all that you have to the church), turning themselves into rap and R & B stars with their hair dos and blings; canoodling with the corrupt leadership we have and driving bullet proof phantoms and limousines in convoys of armed guards (I’m not sure what has happened to the guardian angels we have been told of) and turning themselves to semi gods over the very people who have helped to make them (directly/ indirectly) who they are! How sad!

In a society where we have more churches than schools on every street, we see evidence of man’s inhumanity to man everyday. It also seems that vast knowledge of the bible and some history is now the criteria for putting up a structure and starting up a church!

That said, I am of the opinion that this exists because out government has failed its citizens so much so that the only source of hope of majority is their head tilted up towards the heavens and this vulnerability is what these preachers and pastors are utilizing to the very limits their power would allow to siphon money off their congregation. And where a man has lost hope and is told he could have a life as flamboyant and as colourful as the pastor’s (which is also a pointer f the thwarted concept we have of success) if only he would give, give and keep giving to the church, such a man would give pretty much everything. After all, the more he gives, the more he should expect!

Despite all of this however, what makes it even more saddening is how these “followers” see no wrong in all that is going on. In fact, any negative statement about their pastors would summon their wrath.

I’d like to conclude by ‘praying’ that our religious leaders begin evaluating their “calling” (many would make good sales men) and be sure to search their hearts to see if they weren’t ‘called’ by the life they saw other pastors and preachers living and want same for themselves.  I also consider it time for us to begin to look critically at religion and our beliefs and not see it as some far-away phenomenon but rather as a way of life requiring us to speak out on behalf of the oppressed, help the needy, be our brothers’ keepers; live upright lives full of integrity and just doing unto others what we would have them do unto us- THIS is what the message of the bible is. This goes for not just the congregation but also the pastors!

In the story of the Good Samaritan, I recall the bible saying that you should do good and give unto everyone who you come in contact with as that person is your neighbour…not just to your pastor! If we begin to see this change in attitude in our church leaders and they begin to live their talk, considering the number of churches we have in this country, I dare to dream of the fantastic county we would have to call our own…our home!

Touch Not My Anointed!!!

On Sunday afternoon I heard my Blackberry Chat tone. I had received a link to a page from a friend of mine. I opened the link and saw a very disturbing image. The picture of a sick, twisted, psychotic animal (who in all probability wrongly considers himself a man) who had his privates in a little girl’s mouth! The girl couldn’t have been more than 3 years old! I was furious to say the least. Such a person ought to be killed having being castrated first…with a partially blunt knife!

From my conversations with my friends, almost every little girl has had a bad experience with an adult male but most can only remember these incidents from around age 6. This picture made me wonder what else we encountered and maybe suffered as children but which we cannot remember anymore.

I had decided since my University days to be like a mother hen over my brood. Seeing this picture served as a reminder. I would be a hen, an eagle, a snake, a lion…anything to protect my children.

That said, I think the following are crucial;

-          Make time for your children no matter your schedule

-          Be friends with your children. Be their parent but also be their friend so they can talk to you

-          Do not trust your kids especially the younger ones with anybody. This may sound harsh but it is usually people who you live and trust your kids with who are usually the ones with access to them

-          Always ask your kids questions

-          Be careful to observe your child’s actions/ mannerisms around people whom you usually live them with. Your child’s attitude and body language and actions with this person would give clues as to activities they engage in. This would prove especially useful when you have kids that are too young to verbalize their thoughts or concerns.

-          Observe your child’s body and any changes thereon often.

-          When you leave your child with anyone, spy (yes, spy) on them sometimes until you trust them enough to leave your child with them. It may seem harsh but would you rather that or… who knows what else?

I have heard one too many stories of crazy things that have been done to children. And I think we should take precautionary steps and not be too trusting.

EXCUSE ME MADAM...SHUT UP!

I did not realize until recently just how much I wanted, nay -needed, a car. For as long as I can remember, whenever there was no car or driver available at home, I took the bus. Yes, I admit that public transportation comes with its inherent trials and tribulations (the already stuffy Lagos air made worse on the bus due to the heat emanating from the engine of the “fanagon” -in the words of some of my brothers; the preacher who has received the calling to ensure that we enter the kingdom of God with hearing difficulties; the driver who turns every 2-meter span into a bus stop; the sweaty and oftentimes chatty person sitting next to me on the bus on a day when I absolutely just want to keep to myself- which was pretty much every time…need I continue?) but for lack of choice, I made do with what I could afford. Until recently.

Upon finishing school, a few of my friends got their own cars (some of them with external help from parents and others just by saving up as they could). This afforded me the opportunity to hitch rides- sometimes as they were going my way and other times just out the sheer generousity and magnanimity (yes o! oyinbo) of their hearts. After some time, my parents decided to look upon me with favour and gave me a car that was lying idle at home which I must admit has seen better days (we have since married off its children and grandchildren) but could still get me from Point A to point B as long as it was in a straight line (lol!).

With time, avenue opened up to get a good car and I found a real nice looking tokunbo Avensis somewhere in Festac. Then time to conclude the deal, I called the owner/ importer/ seller and implored him to bring the car to Ikoyi (my office) and pay up for the car. He thought about it for a few seconds and said “Ikoyi is too far from Festac o. How will I get back to Festac naaw?” I was (just as I’m sure you are) surprised! We weren’t talking about coming to Kutuwenji. Though I found the question silly, I answered anyway, “Well, you could take a boat, a bus or a taxi back”. Now, just like you, two of my friends to whom I mentioned this thought it was too much to have added “boat” to the multiple choice options saying it sounded rather sarcastic; but truth be told, I meant no sarcasm (ok, I admit, maybe I meant it a little). I mean really, at Marina there are ferries to Mile 2 naaw (abi?). Assuming (without conceding) that I was indeed being sarcastic, didn’t such a ridiculous question deserve such an answer?

Anyway, after my response, he said he would call back in 5 minutes. He did call but this time, the excuse was that since the car was unregistered, there was a possibility he might be stopped and questioned about the car. I responded that I could likewise be stopped and harassed but that it was better him than me since he is the one who imported the car and all the clearance papers and other documents were in his name. He then again said he would call back. Perhaps he was consulting an oracle.

He called again in about 3minutes and plainly stated that he just could not bring the car at which point I just thought well, that’s that! And the evening and the morning were the first day.

Morning of the next day however, my colleague (a guy) decides to call him and they speak for about 8- 12 minutes and just about 2 minutes into the conversation, he agrees to bring the car and the remainder of the time is spent on agreeing mode of payment. In fact, the guy committed himself to a deadline of 2pm! The entire deal was concluded that day.

You may wonder where I am going with this. Well, I replayed the entire scenario over in my head and wondered what it was that my colleague said that made the guy change his mind. Or maybe it was something that I DID say? He did not ask my colleague any untoward or silly questions or give any ridiculous excuses that would have entitled my colleague to give him even worse answers than I gave. Rather, without any hesitation or dilly-dallying, he obliged. Mind you, I sat there through the entire conversation and there was no begging or pleading from my colleague either. Just a simple request to please bring the car around- like I asked the day before.

My thoughts broadened beyond that event and I realized that not only was this not the first time such a thing would occur but it was also not the first time I was a victim to it. I realized there had been times where I could have (and in some cases did in fact) spoken but where I knew only a “man-to-man” conversation would get me what I wanted. I began to wonder - Did I come off too strong? I sounded (or he thought I sounded like I was) too smart? Was I expected to put on the “damsel-in-distress” cloak and get all beggy-whinny (you know that voice females have that is somewhere between begging and whining but isn’t quite either)? He was not ‘dashing’ me the car naaw- I was paying for it!

That brought another realization- though we may fail to see or realize or even admit it, we (yes, you and me) allow women continue to be looked down on. I hear the audible gasp but that’s how I see it. I agree that it may not seem as big of a deal as I am making it but I feel otherwise. In these small acts and sometimes unspoken words, we encourage our females to be weak. It’s glaring- from homes to schools and in the society generally. We tell girls to be weak (since that is what is expected of them) and to always expect things to be done for them. Its little wonder the idea that “boys are boss” is so ingrained in the mindset. I’m not by any means saying that we should pretend to be as physically strong as men but that we should teach children especially boys (yes, boys) from as young as possible realize that they shouldn’t feel the female is any less than they are. We must also encourage females (both young and old) to tap into their inner strength.

Now some people use Christianity as the basis upon which they tell you as a female to be submissive. Yes, the bible expects you to be submissive but only to your husband; not to every Okoro, Morufu, Awalu and Akpos that you come across. You may think I am going (or have gone) to the extreme in my analogy but these seemingly small deeds and occurrences matter. We see women who would do very well by themselves remain in abusive relationships. These big issues stem from small things like this. What if there was no man to speak for me? Let us ensure that we don’t, in satisfying someone else’s ego, demean ourselves or become less of ourselves.

I concede- maybe my car guy simply had a sound sleep and re-considered. Maybe I’m attributing too much where there is no issue. Maybe I simply shouldn’t have included ‘boat’ in my options. Whatever the case, a thorough search would reveal some truth in here somewhere, No?

Oh and by the way, me and the car guy? We don turn padi o! ;-)

GOAL!!!

A friend of mine told me once, “you are one of those girls WE girls love to hate”. Apart from being shocked to learn that day that I was not one of “THEM”- the girls, I also wondered why THEY hated me. And the answer? “Because you watch football”!

Now maybe it’s because I am an only girl (I have no female sibling) and I was almost always with my dad and brothers. I guess that somewhere between getting tired of bribing my brothers to play ten-ten (which they never played to the end!) and the ‘let-me-just-sit-and-watch-this-since-I-have-nothing-more-interesting-to-do’, I came to love the game. You may wonder why I chose not to spend those spare moments with my mother instead. Well, my mum was usually almost always (that’s a nice way of saying ALWAYS; I am just playing safe since I expect she would read this) doing “girly” stuff like checking or cleaning her jewelry, sorting something in the kitchen and whatever else I just wasn’t in the mood for.

Now, do not get me wrong or make the wrong assumption- I had my fair share of kitchen duty. In fact, we ALL did our share of kitchen runs because my parents made sure even my brothers cooked and cleaned (and still cook and clean) just as they ensured I also knew how to use the cork and change a flat tyre - although the latter is a feat I wouldn’t be embarking on anytime soon since I’m now more ‘in touch with my feminine side. Scratch that! We aren’t just in touch, we now share an apartment. So you see, we are all well rounded. However, being a girl to me didn’t mean I had to be in diva-mode ALL the time (though I admit I was in diva mode less than I should have) so I unwound with the guys.

Quite frankly though, it is the ease you find with boys/ men that I found appealing- I didn’t have to sit a certain way (I was in denims pretty much all of the time), not shout, or laugh a certain way. What I am however unsure of is whether I got more familiar with the boy in me because I was always with the boys or whether it was the fact that my masculine side and I were buddies that made me even more comfy with the boys. Whatever the case, I always found it easier. So when most guys I meet now find out I’m into football, it comes as a bit of a surprise (remember that my feminine side and I now live together). I’m not saying, implying or even pretending that I can reel out names of footballers though o! Just love the game!

Why have I gone through this family history? Because the premiership season is upon us. And it is again ‘that time of the year’ when women may (I say ‘may’ with hesitation) obtain the silver medal (football gets gold). Here’s an idea however- instead of getting all angry and upset or left out whenever the ‘man about the house’ disappears into THAT realm, why not travel into it with him?

I’m definitely not a relationship expert and my blog is not fashioned to mould relationships as such but here is the thing- it crossed my mind that a lot of women do not look forward to the premiership season (or football in general) and I thought instead of hating that feeling, why not try to enjoy the game? Just my opinion though.

And I must make it a note to emphasize here that this advice extends to any other hobbies your friend, boyfriend, partner, spouse (or whatever they call it these days) may have. It also extends to both parties. Get involved in their hobbies…I can guaranty you wouldn’t regret it! Well, unless its golf – in that case, God help you (hey, just my opinion!) Really, what’s to lose? You may just develop an interest in it too.

I must again re-state the fact that this is not (entirely…lol) an advice on relationships. Just another way helping females not tear their hair out at one of those annoying things. So for those times when you feel alone and want to hang out, get involved in doing something he is enjoying!

…that reminds me, for those who don’t like that I watch and love football? Did I also mention I like wrestling? LOL!